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December 23, 2010



Somewhere along the way "hanging out" became the new "date". It works in some cases, but other times (as you have noted) it creates questions regarding intentions & interest.

Perhaps this is a reflection upon our means of communicating, in the wonky world we live in. We create more of the word "date" than need be, yet the world alone does decipher different intentions vs. "hanging out" or whatever the kids are using these days.


God, I'm glad I'm not single anymore. Lots of luck to you my friend.


Great attitude.. No pressure. Way too much intensity surrounding dating or simply enjoying a nite out w/out commitment and promises of forever..
Thanks for the humorous read.

Michelle Fox

You were right--I do appreciate this one! Clear language = authentic relationships. Another great post EE!

Stephanie Hight

I agree with all of this. Clear language shouldn't be intimidating. You are a great first date :). Planning, paying (not necessary but appreciated, especially by other single parents), pampering. It's a date. It's something I'll look forward to and get dressed up for and chat with my friends about before and after.

I have taken breaks from dating before and have said as much to guys who've asked me on date-dates or even just to hang out. My time is limited too, and what if I hang out with a guy and then change my mind halfway through the evening and then it's a date and then I want to see him again and oh CRAP although I had very good reasons for taking a break from dating, here I am dating and running into the issues I'd wanted to sort out before I went and got all inclined to hang out, date, not f*$#@ others or whatever the arrangement ends up being. I write "what if" but it's happened. More than once.

My regret ends up being when that relationship ends and I take a good hard look at it...that it might have gone better had I been really ready to meet someone. My .02 cents.

Michelle Bar-Evan

Hey you!

I had a guy contact me from match a couple of years ago and told me straight out "I don't want to date you, but love to hang out with you. I think we'd get a long great" He's now one of my closest friends! Totally appreciate the up-front lingo!

Alexandra C

I appreciate and agree with your piece about clear and concise language, particularly in the dating world.

However, as a divorced mother, entrenched in the excitement of "learning to date" I disagree with your description of a first date as "just a date". When I agree to go out with someone on a first date I am agreeing to an interview. Will I get dressed up? Yes. Will I be open-minded about having a good time? Yes. Will I enjoy a little pampering? You bet.

However, how am I possibly to know whether I want to "date" someone or "hang out" with someone until after the first interview?


How is it possible that you managed to perfectly express what I have been thinking?!
Every time I consider diving back into the dating pool, I back away in fear of the 'loaded' inevitable pressure. From a female perspective (seeing as I am one), it is nice to know that the honest approach takes the edge off and you can relax, be yourself and just see where it goes...
You sound wonderful, and whomever gets to go on a first (and maybe more) 'date' with you is a lucky girl!

Mary Bar

ask Hayley (poster above) out on a date...

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