Be Mine: February, 2010

When it comes to love, timing is more than a detail or a minor obstacle.

Timing is more powerful than Will. Timing is Fate’s partner in crime. Timing is Love’s capricious big sister. 

Timing has kept us apart, more than logistics or distance or chance or our own personal journeys. In this very world, but with just the slightest adjustment in the timing of the confluence of events and actions, we would be together right now, holding each other close, no more questions, no doubts, no distractions.

I’m not saying we’ve wasted time in the traditional sense; I know that our histories—our triumphs and failures, adventures and dead ends, made us the people we have become. I understand that a month ago or a year ago we may have not been right for each other (but who can say, for sure?).  

But think of the minutes, days, years (years!), that are slipping by, relentlessly, without my arms around you.

So this is what I have to say:

It’s time for you to be mine. It’s time for us both to shed the doubt and fear. It’s time to leave the excuses behind us. It’s time to explore the true potential of our chemistry, the joy in each other’s presence, a trust in who we are now.

I can’t speak for you, but I can tell you that I’m ready. Ready to commit to the right woman—to be present and open-hearted; to communicate honestly and openly; to appreciate her love and support; to be there when she needs me; to let go of the self-destructive behavior that was useful in its time but should now be a vestige, a memory, a lesson. I’m ready for full weekends of cocooning (jammies, movies, books, blankets, chocolate, wine)—to put away my phone and my computer and be completely in the moment. I’m ready to balance my social and private life; to have someone to go out with, or to go home with, or to be home with. I’m ready to add sweetness to the mundane and quotidian by sharing it with you—grocery shopping, weekend errands, quiet conversation and soft kisses at the end of another long day.

I’m ready to share in the love and affection of my little girl.

And Simone is ready, too. She’s ready for girl energy, for a female friend and confidant. She’s ready to share me with someone who makes us both happy. And she’s ready for me to be swept into the warmth and joy of a loving relationship, because she understands how that special kind of happiness will color our home, our weekends, our adventures.

My internal strength has always been so wrapped up in making things happen; in being the catalyst and the driving force; in knowing what I want and bringing it to me. But I realize I can only do so much when it comes to you, love. I can only invite you in, draw you to me, open myself up to you. I can only be here, ready, doors and windows swung wide, stirring the embers to make sure they’re ready to take flame with the right kindling. I’m drawing on my reserves of patience and faith, aware that my own surrender to whatever happens next takes its own kind of strength and fortitude. 

Yes, I surrender.

This is not an ultimatum; it’s an invitation to my dreamgirl to find her way home to me. To embrace our potential so we can finally, finally celebrate together. I’m letting the universe have its way with me, I’m speaking out loud so it can hear me, because I know that it will bring you to me, if only you’ll let it. 

Maybe it’s time for you to surrender, too.

Be mine.

Be mine.

Comments

[Kate Silvertooth]

Lovely. There is surely mass swooning all around you. ;)

Ultimately, we who are still waiting,
when we find each other (again)
we will have the last laugh on Time -
and its tricky Timing.

kate

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along.
-Rumi

[Melissa]

Simply lovely open letter.

[Amy]

Simply pure, beautiful, open. It made me weep. You express everything that is in my heart to say, yet, with all of my education, teaching, writing, reading, and life experience, I have not yet found the words. Thank you for being bold, for reminding me that such love is possible.

[Raquel]

Wow! I am speechless...doesn't happen very often! <3

[Susan]

May your heart's longing be fulfilled.